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Five Things I Learned This Week

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Five Things I Learned This Week

Max Nussenbaum
Mar 13, 2022
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Five Things I Learned This Week

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In lieu of a longform essay today, please enjoy these five things I learned this week.

Through the Plastic

Until he got famous and could afford dental surgery, Kanye West wore a retainer every day. But since it got in the way of his enunciation, he had to take it out before he rapped. Producers, record execs, and prospective collaborators were frequently disgusted to see him pull the retainer of his mouth, put it down (without a protective case) on whatever surface was nearby, and pop it right back in once he was done rapping. (Source: the Netflix documentary jeen-yuhs)

Eric Adams: the Marianne Williamson of New York

Despite being an ex-cop and a former Republican, New York’s newest mayor is also kind of a hippie. He believes that New York vibrates with a “special energy” that emanates from the rare gems and stones that are, apparently, buried beneath the city. He’s also a follower of “Dr” Joe Dispenza (actually just a chiropractor), who teaches at Honolulu’s Quantum University (not a real university) and claims that we can heal our physical and emotional issues by tapping into “the power of quantum energy.” Despite all this, and despite his penchant for just a little bit of corruption, I have to admit that Eric Adams is growing on me. (Source: Ruby Cramer in Politico)

Checks and Balances

U.S. Presidents and their families have to pay out of pocket for all the food, drink, and toiletries they consume in the White House residence. A staff member tallies it all up and sends them a bill at the end of each month. Guess that means William Howard Taft is lucky he lost his reelection bid back in 1912—a second term might have bankrupted him. (Source: Kai Bird in The Outlier, a biography of Jimmy Carter that you’ll be hearing more about in this newsletter soon)

State of Head

Before he was President of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky played piano on a reality TV show… using his penis. Or at least, so he claims—the camera angle doesn’t fully show you exactly what’s happening. If he can do that, he can probably repel a Russian invasion. (Source: pretty much everyone on Twitter)

Breakfast of Champions

My old roommate used to make fun of me for eating the exact same breakfast every day, claiming that I “ate like a psychopath.” Turns out Derek Parfit—one of the most famous moral philosophers of the past century, and an early influence on the effective altruism—did the same thing. His, however, was much more disgusting than mine: sausage links, green peppers, yogurt, and a banana, all mixed together in one bowl. He chose this meal because he was somehow under the impression that it was the healthiest breakfast possible. Then, one day, he happened to meet a nutritionist who told him it wasn’t, so he switched to a different meal the next day and then ate that new breakfast every morning until he died. Then again, one of Parfit’s core beliefs was that the self is an illusion generated by limits in the way we perceive the world, so maybe it wasn’t really “him” eating the same thing every day after all. (From Larissa MacFarquahar in this old New Yorker article)

Yours in triviality,

Max

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Five Things I Learned This Week

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